Delay

 Good evening friends. Road to Recovery part #2 will be posted tomorrow. The story I am sharing began at the most pivotal point in my life and I will bring you to current. The reason for delay is I am currently in a health battle, and many of my battles are a result of the horrific accident I am sharing with you.....four big spine surgeries, and much more. I am set to have my bladder removed November 28th. As I said before, I have been in a long 10 month battle with health issues. At least I got a six month break break before it started, because before that, I was down for 15 months having had 3 major surgeries in an 11 month period. I suppose it's safe to say I have had more than one pivotal point in my life that has shaped me into the woman I am today. Stay with me folks, and I guarantee you won't leave without gaining some form of inspiration and more. I'm a humble individual and am just another regular jo schmo. My life experiences and my story have potential to maybe change the world in some small form or another. That's my goal, its not to be in the lime light. My motives are fueled by love for others. One of the biggest needs we have as human beings is the need for empathy. I have a whole lot of that to give and maybe you will feel less alone, or empowered because of the dirt I've had to go through. 

Having said all of that, I had a VERY bad night physically and it has not only left me feeling drained, but has also fed the PTSD a little, and am very emotional. I am very resilient, thanks to God and the efforts I put in to be able to pick up and keep moving forward. It's crucial to allow yourself to feel and work through emotions. I was relaxing after last night's post, watching a Halloween fav, Hocus Pocus. I was running fever and my entire body was hurting. I took my meds, kept chillin, and my heart started to go crazy. Its very uncomfortable when it happens. I just kept doing my yoga breathing and doing all I could to get my symptoms under control and it got to where I couldn't do anything. I was alone because my husband was at work. My legs and arms started twitching, and I got shaky, my jaw kept trying to lock and I didn't know if I'd even be able to keep talking so I had to call an ambulance. My heart rate was well over 140, I felt nauseous, confused, and had thought about trying to walk next door to my neighbors house but I could barely get to the door to unlock it for the paramedics, because I had so much weakness in my legs. I was light headed, and knew I was probably in trouble, so I caved and called for help. I didn't freak out and have learned over the years how to keep myself calm and not panic but it definitely took practice. 

Anyways, it was Sinus Tachycardia. I am on beta blockers and have a Cardiologist. He studied my test strips and said to keep taking the increased dose of my beta blocker. We didn't know if it was an out of control urinary infection or what in the world was going on. I am very compliant and do anything and everything I am asked to do. My Pain Management Doc called me a marvel and her poster child, so I must be doing something right haha! I will pick back up tomorrow and speaking of tomorrow, thank God I have counseling! Sorry for the delay. I didn't wake up today until 4:30 and am exhausted and weak from last night and everything else going on with my body at the moment. I have to really work on not having resentment towards my body especially with how well I take care of it........when not ill, I train myself 4-5 days a week in the gym, I eat well, and do all the things, so having all of these issues makes me mad and I have to work through that too.