Twenty Year Anniversary

 I find it highly appropriate and great way to end my blog. I will be starting a new blog, so stay tuned for that! I wanted to post yesterday on the actual anniversary of my accident [ the 20th anniversary ], but I was feeling too rough physically to even mess with it. 

Grief is a tricky thing, and when the anniversary of the death of loved ones rolls around, you have no idea from year to year how it will effect you. Yesterday I was okay, but last year I struggled some. You'd think after 20 years that it wouldn't still have any effect, especially after how long it's been. But in all reality, it doesn't work that way. The only thing that changes over time is that it just gets easier. I find myself throughout the entire day and evening [ off and on ] replaying the events of that day in my mind, as I'm sure many do. It's kind of hard not to after having gone through something so life changing and profound. I don't dwell on it, but I also know it's normal to reflect not only on that, but how much has happened and what life is like now. So much has changed and for the better.

Because I hadn't allowed enough time to heal, moving on too quickly afterwards, it came out in other ways dealing / coping in unhealthy ways......alcoholism years later, anorexia, and more. Mind you, I did do a LOT of work and spent years in counseling, but there's got to be some time of no relationships and life sucking distractions to properly heal. I have experienced true freedom since finally giving myself that time. You can't allow destruction to have it's way in you. Healthy choices, time, and fully doing the work to heal is the best antidote for trauma, loss, and grief. Otherwise you end up with what I recently spoke of in one of my posts....an " unpacked overstuffed suitcase." 

I am beyond grateful for where I am today and love sharing my experience, strength, and hope to help others with every single bad thing that has happened to me. It's not only healing, but very rewarding as there is great joy in not only using the bad to help others, but to see lives changed because of it. No battle is ever wasted and fruit can flourish from the ugliest of circumstances. I challenge you to take a good look at your life reflecting on not just what has happened, but what you may still need to heal from and then find ways to help others and use it for good. Give yourself the gift of healing.....truly healing. You'll be shocked at how much lighter you feel, and how your life has yet to change for the better and keep getting better. I always say, " I may not have always been through the best of times, but the best is always yet to come." What does your best life look like? What do you want it to look like? Just some questions to set you on your own new chapter and there's no better time than the present! God bless you all and Happy New Year!!