Tips and Tricks for Tough Seasons

I've shared a lot with you about tough times and some things I do to cope, stay strong and built up while navigating through storms of life. But there's far more to it and I feel it's important that I share with you simple self-care practices that really help carry you when life gets dark.

You've heard that laughter is the best medicine and I couldn't agree with that statement more, especially if you have a significant other or are married. Before we begin, remember that the small things are HUGE and highly impactful. Stop for a moment and think about the things in your relationship that keep you deeply connected to your partner. For example, with my husband Rob and I, here is a list of things that we do to stay connected in any season of our lives.

1.] We laugh together  2.] We have a regular date day or night [ weekly and sometimes twice weekly ]. Don't over complicate things!! Right now, we are limited, so one of our favorite things to do together for dates while I am laid up is to go to an AA meeting together. Then we get takeout [ Pad Thai, pizza, etc. ], and come home to watch a movie or a football game. 3.] PRAY TOGETHER! Praying together is one of the BIGGEST forms of bonding there is. Nothing will keep you stronger than keeping Jesus the center of your marriage and your life both together and individually. I notice a difference if we start to slack at all. But, we've made it a habit so that rarely happens and once it becomes  a habit, you don't like skipping out on it. 4. ] Your partner may be your rock [ at least I hope your partner is for you as mine is for me ], but you cannot put pressure on your partner to be your everything. Why do you think, women, that God gave us girlfriends, work friends, church friends, etc.?! One person cannot be all things, that is just silly and unrealistic to expect that out of your partner or anyone for that matter. The same goes for men or whatever you classify yourself as......not to single anyone out. 5. ] Do your best to keep as much normalcy as possible which is critical. 6. ] In marriage or with a significant other, you are a team, so act like a team! Hold each other accountable, check on each other and make sure your teammate is doing okay mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. You help keep each other balanced in doing so. For instance, I will ask Rob often [ but not incessantly or to the point of annoyance ], " Hey honey, how's your head and your heart today? What do you need? Don't forget you're individuals and both still need alone time weather at the gym, sitting for a bit in another room by yourself reading, writing, or whatever it is you like to do.  

7.] Don't allow your circumstances to consume you to the point where the majority of conversation is about illness, or whatever is going on in your tough season. Keep conversation fresh, have fun in your conversations, have deep meaningful conversations, etc. 8.] Keep dreaming and planning for the future! For example, Rob and I have a little project right now we're working on. We have a bucket list of places we want to travel together [ the big more extravagant vacations ]. Then, we have a list we're also working on of vacations we'd like to take say, next year.....Key West, going to see Fort Sumpter in South Carolina as we both love history, a trip to Maine, a long weekend at Hocking Hills, etc. I think you get the general idea. 9.] NEVER stop communicating! It's absolutely critical in absolutely every season of life.

In a nutshell, keep it simple and maintain as much balance in your life as possible making sure you don't neglect any areas spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally. Keep the main thing, the main thing.....meaning, don't waste precious time and energy on insignificant things, stay as focused as possible, and no matter what's going on, don't lose direction. Just because you're down doesn't mean life stops. Keep your relationships and dreams alive!

Now, moving on to what you do for yourself as an individual. 

1.] Don't let yourself go and become an unkempt individual......stay on some type of schedule, continue self-care by doing your hair and makeup, dress well, get adequate sleep and nutrition. Yes, there will be days you just want to stay in bed and hide from the world! DON'T DO IT!! There's nothing wrong with lingering in bed a little longer and having lazy days to just rest and relax, but don't let yourself camp out in depression, frustration, and under that dark cloud that may be looming over your head / life. You have got to keep living. 2. ] Keep dreaming 3.] Keep planning for your future. Your life may come to a complete halt, but life doesn't stop and neither should planning for the future. You may be down, but think about what you want to do when your life returns to normal. Continue to make goals for yourself and if the deadline for your goal isn't met, who cares, set a new date!! 4. ] Keep your home clean, organized, and nice. Keep staying organized and maintaining some sort of structure. 5.] Keep growing and doing whatever you know you need to do in order to keep the growth train moving forward. Just because your life may feel like a train wreak doesn't mean your life is completely derailed although some days it may feel that way. Feelings are fickle and ever-changing so don't get too into your head being controlled by your emotions. 6. ] Keep your emotions and thoughts in check. 7.] If you can't be out and about doing anything very often or very long, who cares! You've got to still get out and do something, anything, just DO SOMETHING!!! For me, a lot of times the only thing I can do to get out of the house and be amongst the living is to go to the tanning bed and come back home. I'm doing something I enjoy that makes me feel good not just emotionally and physically. I'm also getting out and about helping me to feel like I am still a part of society. Look how much something so simple accomplishes! That's what I meant when I said not to over complicate things. 8.] Learn something new, keep your mind busy, read, write, crochet, or whatever it is you like to do. 9. This is a HUGE one and very very important.......continue to help others in whatever way you can. Helping others when you're down is a huge booster, but it's not about you! It's about getting outside of yourself and still making a difference in this world. You may be "broke" but you're not dead!! 10. ] Stay out of self-pity, self-will, selfishness, and all the things that keep you focused on self. 

11. ] BE KIND TO YOURSELF!!!! It's normal to get sad, angry, frustrated, confused, and all the other normal human emotions we deal with. Let the word ' normal ' be a reminder to you that you are human and you will have emotions that are normal and okay to feel! The only thing you have to remember here is it's okay, just don't allow yourself to camp out in your emotions. Feel it, work through it, and move on. 

12. ] You can remain "busy" just sitting in a chair, and it's good as I stated above to keep yourself busy, but don't stay so busy you neglect or hide from what you should be dealing with yourself. It's good to help others, but don't get so focused on helping others with their problems that you end up using it as an excuse to neglect your own! All you're doing is hurting yourself at that point and actually stunting growth.

You will be able to do what I have talked about best if you truly know who you are. If you don't, get to learning!! Knowing who you are and what you want, what you need when life gets crazy is crucial to staying on the road to success. Just because there's a hiccup doesn't mean the road to success stops because there's a slight detour. Stay the course, fight the good fight, remain true and honest to yourself and others. 

I sincerely hope that what I have shared with you about what I have learned from my own life experiences will be of great help and encouragement to you. And, lastly, remember that when you're not living in the best of times, the best is still yet to come, so hang in there and keep on keeping on friends!!!!!