The Road to Recovery Pt 1

The road ahead of me was long and more so for the emotional healing, dealing with PTSD, and more. I tried to find some pictures I have from some of the things I've talked about as well as a video. So, as soon as I can get everything together, I will share it with you. The one picture I do have at the top of today's post, is of Jesus holding that little lamb and this is the picture that was in my hospital room. I'm anxious to get those things posted as pictures do speak a thousand words, also stirring emotions, and truly bring so much life to my testimony. I don't want your sympathy, I want the bad that's happened to me over the last 20 years to give you hope, give or even restore your faith, and maybe even light a fire in you like that one that has't ever gone out in me. 

The funeral was tough in every way imaginable. The church was packed, it was huge!!! I was blown away to be honest and as I was wheeled in, I could feel people staring [ kinda hard not to ] and I just didn't want anyone to look at me. I was on the edge of losing it but also knew I could hold it together. I came to the funeral straight from the hospital. It was beautiful and went as well as you could expect. j

I had to live with my parents for a while because of my condition and it was too dangerous for me to be alone. I wasn't ready to be alone. My whole family came over that night and we ordered pizza, watched movies, and just wanted to be together. A little funny for you.......because of my injuries, it was very difficult to get up out of any chair and off the couch. I was in a big, comfy, over-sized love seat that was perfect. I had to get up to go to the bathroom [ my pain meds had kicked in mind you ] and I said, " it feels like my gee is niggling, " and I meant to say it felt like my knew was jigging lol!!! 

I didn't just have ALLLLLL of this to deal with, it was time for me to pick a lawyer. There were different choices, but when I met the first one, Mark Burry, I knew that was the one I was supposed to have without a doubt. I was overwhelmed by the emotions, and trying to remember things, my head just swimming with thoughts like, " It's sad and it sucks that I have to decide when I will be emotionally okay to go home," knowing it would never ever feel the same again. I had to find a new normal, I had to find myself again. I was only 22 years old, so lets be realistic, I really didn't know who I was for the most part anyways. That coming April I had to have a hysterectomy, so you can see how from that aspect I would feel lost wondering where I was going to fit in......widowed and a hysterectomy all by the age of 23. I figured it out, but that is for a later discussion. 

The projected healing time for me was 12 weeks. Well, remember that fire in my belly I told you about? I knew what I had to do to reach my first goal... healing and moving back home. I knew also that I was going to need counseling, so I jumped right on it, and three weeks after my accident I began Trauma Counseling. I made myself do the hard things I knew were coming because I wanted to heal and not in any way stay stuck in this part of my life. I pushed my self in physical therapy and by week 5 I was driving again, and I finished physical therapy 6 weeks ahead of schedule. There is a saying I have adopted that's simple and powerful....." Pick your hard!" Life is hard, it's a roller coaster of ups and downs. Life is about a series of choices, and you make those choices based off of beliefs and perspective. My perspective was definitely changed, and my heart of gratitude grew immensely. If you have a near death experience and it doesn't, I don't know what to tell you. I chose to not let the bad defeat me, but rather to turn it around and use it to help others and make this world a better place. Obviously that practice has continued and it will always forever and ever amen. And still I rise.............